I know what you're thinking: Bad Kyla! But I couldn't help it. It was just too tantalizing. I wanted it too badly. It was taunting me, dang it!
I just had to write the prologue of the first book, Dragon Marked. I was supposed to wait until I finished the research, but...I couldn't. I really, really wanted to write. And I was thinking: Most of the research I have left to do effects the middle and the end of the book. Why not start work on the beginning and continue the research at the same time? Especially since my interest in the research has been flagging of late. I was itching to get my fingers on the hard-core writing.
Eight months is just too long to wait. No research should take eight months. Even if I had fun. I waited too long for this moment, and now it's just around the corner and I couldn't resist jumping ahead. I suck at self-discipline. But, then, I'm a writer. We're not renowned for our self-discipline.
But I keep trying to find my inner disciplinarian. Sadly, she came without a whip and chains. Oh, well. I guess life is all about making do. Do the best you can with what you have, that's my motto.
Something that really shocked me, I found the writing more difficult than it's ever been before. See, this is me, normally:
And this is me now:
I've never, ever had trouble shutting my editor off in the past! Now I've read all those books on writing, and suddenly the stupid jerk won't shut up (she's the one with the coffee mug). Is it because I now know what I'm doing wrong? Or is it just because this book is so special to me, I want it to be perfect? A lot of pressure comes with perfect, you know. If I could attain perfection, well, that would make me perfect, wouldn't it?
Unfortunately, I'm far from perfect.
Fortunately, I pushed through anyway. I feel like everything written last night reeks of crappiness, but I kept going and got it on the page. That's progress, right? Even if I have to rewrite every word, at least it's begun.
But that's just so unlike me. Usually, I'm staggered by the incredible work I just wrote. It's weeks or months later when I come back and say it sucked. Usually, both instincts are wrong. Is the circumstances different this time, or is what I wrote really crap? I guess I'll have to have some people look it over eventually and tell me. Until then, I'm stuck wondering.
Well, that's all until the next edition of Kyla's Not Normal! Talk to ya later, and have a great day!