Thursday, March 28, 2013
The idea that some of us are born great, while others have to find their own way to achieving that has long fascinated me. Because it begs an interesting question: What could I do to become great?
Anyone out there who is reading this, you may remember me as that girl who used to blog. For a little while. Didn't quite make it, though. And, honestly, that seems to have been the story of my life. I'm the girl that started to do something great. And then stopped, never quite making it to actual greatness.
Well, I stopped blogging because I met a boy at work. And suddenly everything I had always centered my life around didn't seem to matter. All that seemed to matter was that boy. I fell in love with him, I obsessed over him, and I did everything I could think of to get him to return those feelings.
But he didn't.
Oh, he said things like he loved me, he just wasn't IN love with me. And that we'd always be good friends. And he was so thankful to have me in his life. And we would have been together, if he didn't have to move away and to go to college. He made a lot of promises even when he left. Promises like he wouldn't actually leave me, we'd see each other a lot, we'd talk on the phone, we'd stay in touch.
And then we didn't.
It wasn't a complete abandonment. Not at first. At first, he talked to me quite well. We did the whole friendship from afar thing. But then he started to drift on me. Stopped talking about anything that mattered. Would only text me back if I asked questions about the weather or if I should visit a club that week or not.
I texted him one day, telling him how I needed to talk to him and I thought I might have broke my hand. I waited 2 days to hear back from him, and didn't get a single reply. Finally, I asked him if he even cared about me at all. I got this long-winded reply about how he was just too busy to give me anything but the bare minimum. I angrily replied that that wasn't the bare minimum; that was absolutely nothing. The bare minimum would have been a text message asking if I was okay.
I haven't heard from him since.
I've never felt heartbreak before. And it hit me in a big way. It was worse than I'd even imagined it to be. I sunk so deep into depression, the world seemed dark and bleak. My days were filled with thoughts of self-loathing. I bombarded myself with negative thoughts of how I obviously wasn't good enough. Because, if I had been good enough, he wouldn't have left me. He would have returned my feelings. It would have been different.
But that isn't how it works, is it? Sometimes people just don't return your feelings. Even if they say they do.
About a month after this, I woke up. I looked around me, at the life I was leading, and thought to myself: "No wonder he left you; who'd want to stay with someone like this?" I hated myself for what I'd become. I hated my life.
But I've always had a saying I'd say to other people if they asked my advice on things like this: if you really hate your life that much, get up and change it or stop complaining and learn to enjoy it. Throwing yourself a pity party and wasting your energy on negative thoughts gets you and the world no where.
That advice came to my mind all of the sudden. And the thought of that boy returning and seeing me sunk inside the dark, bleak hole that I had allowed my life to become galvanized me into action. I refused to let him ever see me like that.
Which brings me back to the quote at the top of this page.
I have finally come to a conclusion in my life. I want to be great. I obviously wasn't born that way. At least, not in the ways that I wanted to be. But I could MAKE myself be great.
And that has been my mission ever since. To change the parts of myself and my life that I don't like, and finally become the person I've dreamed of being since I was 5 years old. And now, over 2 months into the change, it isn't even about the boy anymore. It's about me. It's about the person I can become and the dreams I can achieve if I just set my mind to it. To look at my life now, it's shocking to think that only 2 short months ago I was depressed and miserable.
I never want to go back to that place.
So, I've created a new blog. I could have continued my old one here, but in the spirit of a fresh start, I thought it best to begin with a clean slate. Thus Some Are Made was born.
If any of you are still listening to this old, ratty blog, I'd love to see you again. Why don't you stop on by? Check it out here.
Friday, April 6, 2012
I keep trying to write and blog despite the fact I continuously fail at it so epically, so often. But, you know, I truly believe that if I keep trying, I'll succeed eventually.
It's an interesting belief. If you just hold on, if you just keep trying no matter how many times you fail, you'll get there eventually. Success will happen if you're tenacious enough. Or, as Dori says in Finding Nemo, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
So, just to let all you guys know, I'm still swimming. I'm writing my book, working on my blog, and I still plan to get published. It's just taking longer than I want it to.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Writing is a wonderful job all by itself. But it's hard to pay the bills on a writing career, especially in the early stages. The common solution to this is getting a job in some sort of secular vocation.
I recently switched jobs from working from home, to working for Walmart. My days are filled with work, work, work, and my nights are filled with sleep, sleep, sleep in an attempt to recover. I haven't written a word since I got my job, and I'm forced to wonder: Will I be able to balance writing and secular work?
Reason says yes, I can and I will. Other people have done so, and if they could manage it, so can I. I'll just have to continue reminding myself of that in the hard days ahead.
Here's hoping I get back to my real work soon. And that my bills are paid a little better with my new job, than they were with the old. Have a great day, and happy writing!
Writing Quote of the Week: "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Guest Posting is the smartest thing you can do for yourself, if you're a blogger. Have a guest poster on your blog, or guest post on someone else's blog, and your ratings will go up. That's because guest posting is advertising and good business in general. You're telling your readers that you're fascinating enough for someone else to want to write on your blog or to allow your content to appear on their blog.
It's also tons of fun. Plus, it forges friendships you might never have otherwise made. I, personally, got to guest post for Kathy on her blog, Bliss Habits, this week. It was tons of fun, and she is a delightful person to work with.
If you'd like to check out my posting about Creating Worlds, click HERE.
I suggest everyone check out Kathy's site, in fact. It's concept is fantastic, the layout is gorgeous, and Kathy herself is incredibly personable and friendly. The whole concept of Bliss Habits, in case you're wondering, is about cultivating bliss in Kathy's life. She uses 13 habits that she concentrates on each week to help her in cultivating that bliss in her life: joy, order, creativity, passion, whimsy, serenity, inquiry, community, romance, gratitude, moxie, humility, and surprise.
I also suggest you all grab a guest posting somewhere as soon as you can. And offer for other people to guest post on your blog, if you can.
Speaking of which, if anyone is at all interested in guest posting on Kyla's Not Normal, I'd be happy to look at any kind of postings you'd like to send me. Just contact me at my email address, email@example.com.
I'd really appreciate it if anyone who has guest posted in the past could share their experiences in the comments below. I was terrified of guest posting before Kathy talked me into it. I'm sure other people feel the same as I did, and hearing how the experience was for you may help them break into the unknown.
Hope you all are having a great week and that this post helps a few people break into the delightful world of guest posting. Have a great day, and happy writing!
Writing quote of the day: "An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought." ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Self-forgiveness. The concept is one we all embrace: we're human and so we make mistakes that we must forgive ourselves for. Yet, in practice, many find the concept difficult to implement in their own minds.
How do you forgive yourself and move on when you fail to do what you've promised, not once, but over and over and over again? How do you forgive yourself when you fail to meet the goals you know you need to, in order to succeed? How do you forgive yourself for being what you are: human?
It's not an easy thing to do. Forgiving oneself for being imperfect is next to impossible. At least, it is for me. But I have to find a way to do it if I want to ever succeed in anything, because, the fact of the matter remains, I am imperfect. I do make mistakes. And I fail more often than I like to contemplate. If I never accept that, forgive myself, and move on, I'll never find success. I'll be stuck in a rut in the road. My wheels will keep turning, but I ain't getting anywhere, if you see what I mean.
I read one of the most inspiring posts about self-forgiveness today that I just have to share with all of you. It was written by Elizabeth Gilbert over at her very own website. In this posting, she shares with you how she views writing. She's a successful writer herself, with many published books, but she shares how she started out sending short stories to places like the New Yorker, and was rejected over and over again. But she views writing like a religious calling, and has dedicated her life to it. She never gave up and told herself it wasn't her job to write WELL, but to simply write.
I am saving that post to be re-read over and over again whenever I don't feel I'm good enough anymore. Whenever I've written a chapter I think isn't up to par or failed to meet a deadline or forgotten to post something on my blog (which I would never do *cough cough*).
Discipline is important to being a writer. But self-forgiveness isn't just important; it's a necessity if you mean to stay sane.
However, I don't want to be too lenient on myself. So, I'd like to make an addendum to Ms. Gilbert's post: It's important to forgive oneself for our mistakes, but we can never forget them. If we forget, we'll doom ourselves to repeated lessons in failure. We'll forgive every stupid mistake we make and never strive to do better.
Do you agree? Is this a skill you are great at, or do you struggle forgiving yourself for your failures? Are you, perhaps, too lenient on yourself and don't strive to learn from your mistakes?
I'd love to hear from all of you! If you'd like to hear more on the subject of self-forgiveness, head on over to Vikki Petterson's blog post on the subject. She tackles it so well, it makes a girl feel envious, I swear.
Hope all this helps you guys and that you have a wonderful day! Happy writing!
Writing quote of the week: "If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." ~Lord Byron
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Blogging, that is (had you going there for a minute, huh?). Are you a fast blogger, or a slow one?
I didn't know there was such a thing as fast or slow blogging, until I discovered a very interesting post on the subject over on Anne R. Allen's blog. She talks about how so many bloggers out there start off excited and thrilled to be blogging, blog every day for a month or two, then their interest begins to wane and they stop blogging so much, only popping onto their own blogs to apologize for their absences every once in a while. After enough apologizing, the blogger often times burns out and quits blogging altogether.
Does this sound familiar yet? I am probably the worst at this, myself. I've been on here since last June (closing in on a year now), but most of my posts are apologies for being gone so long. I am determined not to just be another blogger who quits and lets the blog die. This is MY blog, and I plan on making it last until and after I'm published, thank you very much.
So, fast blogging (blogging every day) has not been a hit for me. I'm just not regular enough, and inconsistency is the worst sin of them all in the blogosphere. But maybe slow blogging...
What is slow blogging? It's a blogging movement styled after the "slow food" movement (as opposed to McDonalds-style fast food). In this movement, you don't try to blog every day, but instead attempt to blog once a week or even once a month on a designated day. The idea is based on the concept that quality is superior to quantity, and if you blog less often, you'll probably spend more time and effort choosing your words and subject carefully.
I like the idea, myself. I think it might be just what the doctor ordered, in fact. How about you? Do you like it better when the blogs you read are done fast? Or does slow blogging seem easier to keep up with? Do you think it would help your blog develop slow and steady, or are you great at the fast and furious pace?
I'd love to hear your opinions. However, I have made the decision for myself. Henceforth, this blog shall be updated every Saturday on a weekly basis...
Here's hoping I can do it! Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you all have a great day! Happy writing!
Writing quote of the week: "The ablest writer is only a gardener first, and then a cook: his tasks are, carefully to select and cultivate his strongest and most nutritive thoughts; and when they are ripe, to dress them, wholesomely, and yet so that they may have a relish." ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Has anyone heard about this horrible stomach virus hat has shut down nursing homes and schools across the U.S.? Here's a link to an article about it, if you haven't: USA Today's 'Stomach flu' rips through he nation.
I can personally attest to this illness, as both me and my dad had it. I have no puked in over 12 years now...until the other night. This stupid virus kicked my butt and had me shaking and shuddering over the ever-so-pleasant household commode for hours Saturday night. If it were only that one night of unpleasantness, I'd be far more happy. But, no, I've managed to stay sick to my stomach for 3 weeks! That's almost an entire month!
I am so sick of being sick. My mother had pneumonia and stomach issues at the same time, so I had to take care of her while being sick myself. AND my dad had it and we were both retching over the toilets on separate ends of the house on the same night.
So, I'm very sorry I haven't been on lately, folks. And, yet, I'm also not sorry. I was very poor company while ill. You wouldn't have liked me if I had come on here. I was truly not my abnormal Kyla-self.
But I'm on the mend now. Hopefully we'll have a break from extreme troubles in my life for a while, and I can get some writing done. If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry.
Glad to see all of you again (if you're still reading; I wouldn't blame you if you'd given up on me)! Life has been crazy as usual. If any of you have ever lived on a farm, you know how vividly it paints life. On one end of a farm, you can have death and disease, while new life is born right under your eyes on the other side.
That's what happened here. Our calves got sick at the same time the humans did. We've lost two calves already this year, and the two remaining look ill now, too. We're hoping they'll survive, though. But, meanwhile, in the goat pen we had the miracle of life put in a truly grandiose appearance. Grandma, our oldest female, had twin babies last week, and cuter creatures you've never seen. I named the firstborn (a boy) Starburst as soon as he was born, for the huge star mark on his forehead. His sister, born a few minutes later, we named Lightning Bolt for the vivid white stripes across both her sides.
Watching them run and play never fails to put a smile on my face. I wish you could see it. I'll have to get some pictures to share on here.
|This is NOT them. But it's close. Aren't they cute?|
Hope all of your weeks have been equally incredible, but perhaps less sickly. Have a great day everyone, and happy writing!