You Might Be A Redneck...

...If you are honked at by a trucker for holding a goat in the backseat of your itty-bitty, four-door car.

That was what we did yesterday. Three girls in a little red car driving down the road for an hour and a half with a little pygmy billy goat in the backseat. Take a moment and picture this, if you will. His huge horns pointed toward my body. His butt to the window. His pooping on the side of the door. The trucker looking down from his semi laughing his butt off at the goat in the backseat of the crazy women's car.

It was hilarious. We died laughing. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe and eventually got the hiccups, and I swear I almost puked, I laughed for so long. It was crazy. It was fun. It was an adventure.

I'd forgotten how important that sense of adventure was in life. If you want to be a fantastic writer, you can't forget. Adventure in life is what writing is all about. You have to experience; you have to live. And boy, was that an experience...

Now, I haven't told you the full story. A family member who I love dearly just moved into our house to stay for a while, at least. She's really nice, we're getting along great, and we've had lots of fun. But it has upset my schedule like crazy. Hopefully, we'll all adjust. Anyway, she, my mom, and I went to get a billy goat for our three girls to "enjoy". ;-)

We found him on craigslist, but he lived pretty far away. That was almost a deal breaker, but then we were told how nice he was and we were sold. We'd get him, come hell or high water. And so off we went, in our cute, little Sunfire.

First, my aunt (that family member who moved in) bought me a pair of beautiful new shoes. That was really cool and I can't wait to really wear them somewhere nice. They are some black sandals with pink butterflies on them. They're so cute and girly! They practically scream Kyla.

Then, we drive through a sudden rainstorm. What was so cool, though, was the sun was shining very bright in this rainstorm, and the rain was pouring hard. So, we spotted a truly incredible sight: a double rainbow. One of them was a truly full rainbow, with all the colors and almost solid looking instead of transparent. The other hovered above it, transparent but almost as striking in intensity. I'd never seen a rainbow like it.

As we continued on, we got hungry. Now, we thought it would probably be best to get some food before we went and picked up the goat, so we stopped to eat. It was a wonderful meal and we all enjoyed ourselves. Some very generous women who were celebrating their birthdays gave us their free ice cream, because they weren't hungry, and I got to enjoy some sugary goodness. But the truly hilarious moment happened as we left the restaurant. My aunt stopped to pick up her cigarettes and smoke a moment. She happened to be wearing a very loose sarong and the knot had loosened on it. Predictably enough, what we now call the "nip slip" occurred. My aunts breast slipped out on the right side and she DID NOT NOTICE. She walked around that restaurant as cocky as you please, and my mom and I couldn't stop laughing. We told her as she got into the car and she was so embarrassed, but also found it hilarious. So, we were already feeling pretty goofy before we got the goat.

Well, we picked the goat up and paid for him. He was just as nice as advertised, running to us like a puppy dog and behaving like we were his long-lost buddies. So, we loaded him in the car and laughed to think what interesting fun this would be. The guy gave us a look like we were crazy, but we ignored him. We hadn't had many options in the vehicle department, and we'd done what we could (pick-up truck is a diesel and it would cost around $120 to get the gas to go up there).

We pulled out and started rolling, but soon were forced to stop at a stop-light. And there, sitting beside us at the light, was a large semi. The man sitting in the seat of the semi was staring into the car and started laughing so hard I don't think he could breathe. My aunt, being the funny girl she is, waved at him and pulled her hand like she wanted him to honk. He honked, but also pointed at the goat while laughing like a maniac. The goat then decided to start pooping while he sat there watching, right up against the door the trucker was looking into. Even worse, the light was long and we had to sit there for around 30 seconds while he continued to laugh and point. 

Finally, we took off. We were free! All of us were thanking our lucky stars for that freedom. Only then did we discover a problem, because we stopped beside that same trucker at the next intersection, passed his partner on the other side a little while later down the road, and even passed him when he'd pulled over to sleep for the day. And every, single time we passed, he would honk his horn and laugh.

Needless to say, we were embarrassed. But also laughing like crazy. I can't remember the time I laughed that much or that hard. And that trucker was not the only person who noticed the goat in the backseat. He was perhaps the most memorable, but not the only one. We had men, women, children laughing and pointing and generally having a good time at our expense. 

Well, we got the goat home safely. And he and his new lady friends seem very, very happy. But the adventure of it all will live on in my memory for a long time coming.

What a day.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that, but it is time for our writing quote:

"The road to hell is paved with adverbs.  ~Stephen King"

Talk to you guys later! Have a great day and happy writing!